3 Ways Your Internet Service May Be Blocking Your Marketing Power
*Disclaimer: If you connect with this, I thank you for your mindset. I thank Mercury if the planet isn’t retrograding when you read this. And I thank your WiFi provider for a miracle. This piece is based on truth, but a few facts have been stretched to protect the comedy. The purpose of this post is to help you preserve your sanity from exposure to status quo reality as we create change one laugh at a time. Studies have proven laughter lowers blood pressure, relieves stress and releases endorphins.
Are you doing everything possible to drive new virtual tribal members to your website? Are you frustrated because your number of email subscribers is still puny despite months of arduous work? Are you so frustrated you want to admit defeat and cease seeking followers?
Well, the good news is it is highly possible your failure is not always your fault. Your online community wants you as much as you want it. Ironically, the sad news is you are at the mercy of corporate communications companies who have a complete staff of lousy communicators. You are also dealing with Artificial Intelligence instead of human intelligence. There is a stark difference. Humans sometimes care. Artificial intelligence is never compassionate. It is judgmental and designed to filter equality.
I recently moved from one neighborhood to another within the Los Angeles area. As I tried for four days to get WiFi service at my new place, I realized one reason my followers are not contacting me in droves could be because they also are waiting days for internet connection. If I cannot get online to meet my followers, many of your subscribers-in-waiting probably cannot connect to boost your marketing platform numbers. It also means those letters in AT&T stand for Awful Time Tellers. Here’s why telecommunications companies can be slowing your progress.
Near-Death of a Salesman Causes a Delay
The day a representative was scheduled to install service and set up my modem, an unexpected AT&T guy came to my door four hours prior to my scheduled appointment. It was the wrong AT&T guy. This one came to sell me phone service, which I already had.
He did not lose his life, but he lost his patience when I asked, “Why should I buy what I don’t need before I find out if what I bought is actually going to work?”
He had the audacity of accusing me of being cynical. Perhaps I was. I also was now into my third day of waiting for the modem man. I don’t believe the salesman came just to welcome me to the neighborhood. Had that been the purpose of his visit, he would have brought coffee, freshly baked muffins and a coupon to Bath, Bed and Beyond. He just brought attitude.
Hey, I’m cynical. So, it makes sense that I would choose to believe the AT&T phone guy came to sale me something unnecessary that I never bothered to order. I contend he had great confidence in his sales skills because he finally agreed to assist me with setting up the modem. After explaining this wasn’t in his job description, he realized I wasn’t going to buy anything. So. he simply removed the device from the box and said, “Wait for the modem installation representative. I see he’s scheduled to be here soon.”
Then came the point when I wanted to breakup with AT&T before we started dating. The installation dude stood me up. It wasn’t that he hurt my feelings or anything. My pain point was the fact I canceled a bona fide dinner date to get ghosted by that WiFi man.
I called and threatened the salesman with his livelihood.
“Get the internet installation guy here now, or I definitely am keeping T-Mobile as my phone service,” I bellowed.
Hey, no one comes between me and dinner on a pasta night.
Robots Call Back and Automatically Place Callers on Hold
After putting in a full day’s work waiting for the modem installation guy, the AT&T salesman became my best friend so he could earn an additional $41 each month. He gave me a new number to call for help and said it is quicker to opt for a callback The callback came 20 hours after the salesman left my apartment and 18 hours after I missed dinner.
This latest AT&T “employee” was a true contender for Employee of the Month. He or she was a robot who put me on hold for one hour and 17 minutes because it was “experiencing a high volume of calls”.
What is more amazing is I waited to talk to a human because I did not want to spend five more days paying for service I was not getting.
Their Choice in Music Becomes an Accomplice to the Theft of Your Time
I believe in the Law of Attraction. So, I decided to write a better story about how I feel about Corporate America’s lousy service and lack of respect for our time. Here is my new story. The main reason I call the AT&T WiFi Customer Service line is because the hold-for-the next-available-representative option comes with five free hours of uninterrupted elevator music.
But just between you, me and America, a bunch of your potential subscribers are not going to hold. Elevator music doesn’t do it for them. So be patient. Continue taking that next step. Continue being true to you. Give your fans time to connect. They’re trying!
Meanwhile, when you do make contact, dazzle them with your brilliance. That is totally worth a couple of hours of enduring elevator music.
If technology cooperates, tune in next Saturday when we explore a few reasons why Left Field is desirable for some of us who don’t fit into the status quo.