5 Tips to Avoid Being Afraid of Your Fear
President Franklin Roosevelt said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Well fear can be devastating. It can lead to stress as well as other physical and emotional problems. It can lead to financial concerns. It can change life as we know it. It can also block progress.
There’s a lot of fear on Earth today. There’s fear of deception in politics. There’s fear of a shaky economy. There’s fear of earthquakes and severe weather. There’s fear of war between Russian and Ukraine. There’s fear of UFOs and Chinese spy balloons. There’s also the Fear of Missing Out – or FOMO.
The one that I really don’t understand is society’s fear of aging.
As a former journalist, I was taught there is no such thing as a stupid question. I’ll buy that philosophy. But social media is leading me to believe there is such a thing as a stupid questioner. Maybe stupid is too strong a word. Insensitive also works.
During the five days prior to posting this blog, I noted at least 13 people asked questions on social media pertaining to aging. They ran the gamut. A few of my favorites were Why do old people like living in places where there are other old people? Why do old people wear unattractive clothes? Why do some old people take walks when others don’t?
As someone researching a book about ageism, two of these age-related questions brought out the cynic in me and prompted me to respond. I was quick to answer, “What do old people do all day?” I hang with a lot of trailblazers – women who find new ways to do things because tradition fails them. So most senior citizens I know spend their lives living so they can leave a legacy.
I loved my spontaneity when I read the question, “What makes some old people cranky?” My cynical reply was: Look closely at yourself in the mirror. The reason I’m cranky will be looking back at you.”
I wanted to answer all the other questions with a question. Why is everyone so afraid of aging? I don’t get it. NBC News reported that 85 percent of what people worry about is not worth the effort. I believe a lot of fear is needless worry.
I also believe it’s a capitalistic manipulation ploy, but that’s another story. Instead of telling that story, I’d rather give you five tips to avoid being afraid of fear – especially, the fear of aging.
1. Fear of Aging
The reason I named my blog The Vintage Vixen is because I believe many older Americans with traditional jobs face age discrimination in the workplace. The reasons have nothing to do with the quality of the work. But they have something to do with socioeconomics, culture and the core beliefs and attitudes of young adults who are starting to realize the day will come when they outgrow their babe stage.
Some of the baby boomers may very well be slackers – just like they were when they were considered up-and-coming talent. There are others who buy into the philosophy that they don’t feel well, and a few don’t because of attitude.
But still more of us are too good to be through. We’re trailblazers with renegade hearts. We take our Louis-and-Clark energy and use wisdom we’ve accumulated to chart new territory.
Aging is a natural phenomenon, so there is nothing to fear. In fact, when our physical parts start to wear out, we don’t get older, we get newer. There are a lot of doctors out there who will sell you new knees, new hips and new teeth.
2. Fear of the Truth
Many people on the planet are afraid of hearing their truth. They may not like what they hear. Metaphysicians tell me our egos are really good at tricking us and telling us stories that aren’t true about our status in life. Egos want to keep us small to keep us safe. But playing small keeps us from chasing dreams and evolving by placing limits on our unlimited potential.
Fear of the truth is a great excuse for procrastination. Fear of truth is also a great excuse for not taking responsibility for individual choices. The truth is we all are children of the Universe. So, in the eyes of the creator, we are all heirs to our thrones. There are no spares. We all get to rule our own lives – unless we give our power to people who want us to live for them because it makes their lives easier.
As Walt Kelly’s “Pogo” said for Earth Day in 1970, “We have met the enemy, and it is us.”
3. Fear of Reverting to Your Second Childhood
You should totally get over this one. Shine your brilliance on yourself. Practice a little self-love. And give yourself permission to play and have fun. Go for the gusto and the zest.
Metaphysicians will tell you our job on Earth is to share love and joy. They say one way to connect with our creator is to meditate and get in touch with our inner child, the part of us that believes in the beauty of miracles. So, take time for you. Take time to go back to a time in your childhood when monkey bars had nothing to do with serving banana daiquiris to the beer pong crowd.
In my first childhood, I imagined becoming a writer. It was my greatest wish outside of going to Disneyland. As a small child, a trip to Disneyland would have been silly because I was too short to ride the rollercoaster. Even if I had met height requirements, I lived in Texas. Disneyland wasn’t a doable weekend excursion. I now live about 30 miles from Disneyland. I don’t go there often. But I still write every day. For more than three decades, it paid my bills.
So, reverting to your childhood is a time to cherish. Forget the fear.
4. Fear Others Won’t Like You
Here’s another one you need to get over. Truth is some will, some won’t so what. It’s an energy thing. The Universe will align us with people on the same vibe. When we conform to the status quo, we give our power to others to make them like us.
In a book written by ZipRecruiter CEO Ian Siegel, there was a reference to hiring managers passing judgement and making decisions within the first 15 seconds – long before you have them with “Hello”. So your chances are good that they already don’t like you.
Sometimes the people whose love we seek do love us – but not unconditionally. They love us if we can make their lives easier. Let that one go. You’re here to shine your light on the world. Don’t suppress that by allowing others to control your light switch.
5. Fear of Messing Up
If you do things just to make other people happy, chances are they will find fault even in excellence. If you do things your way, you can’t get it wrong. The important thing to remember is you have a choice because you are the ruler of your life.
Next time fear tries to hold you captive, take time to shine your light on it. Ask yourself why you’re afraid and remember fear is only real 15 percent of the time.
Make fear your friend. Then you can control it instead of allowing it to control you. It also will help you uncover issues you need to address, concerns you may have shoved aside to meet the expectations of others. If you do mess up, remember why you’re on Earth. You’re here to help the Universe expand in all its glory. You can’t mess that up unless you think you can.